


Lumiére, Darling

by fuckyeahzouis (Lulu_Horan), Mia_Loves_1D



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Cheating, Eating Disorders, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Infertility, Infidelity, Lactation Kink, M/M, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Sex, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Mpreg Niall, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy Kink, Rape, abusive!zayn, but also fluff, its good I swear, proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu_Horan/pseuds/fuckyeahzouis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Loves_1D/pseuds/Mia_Loves_1D
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Zayn want children more than anything,but seem to have the worst trouble having any. Louis gets depressed and Zayn can't take it anymore.</p><p>Or the one where Liam is a sweet puppy face, Niall refuses to settle, Harry worships the ground Niall walks on, Zayn is a jerk, and Louis loves him just a little too much.</p><p>(I actually don't know how to accurately describe it, but it's really good, I swear. Please give it a try)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've got sinning on my mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Mia and I have written this twice now, and we both really love it, and we hope you do too!

Louis leaned into Zayn as they watched a crappy sitcom. "Zayn?"

"Mm?" He rubbed Louis' shoulder.

"We've been married for four years now...I think I'm ready for children. How about you?"

"That sounds amazing, Lou." Zayn started to kiss Louis jaw.

Louis giggled. "According to my calendar, this is the first day of my fertility week."

"Can't wait. We're gonna have out own little family."

"Let's start now." Louis started kissing and nipping Zayn's lips, who began to grind his hips on Louis'.

Louis pushed Zayn's shirt off and threw it on the floor. "Ugh, you're so sexy."

He started on Louis' pants. "Have you seen yourself? You're gorgeous."

Louis giggled, pulling himself away and stripping. He got on the floor and stuck his ass out. "Come and get it."

Zayn knelt down behind him and started to bite the round globes, squeezing the plump flesh with his hands, thanking God above for such a heavenly being.

Louis giggled some more. "Zaynie!"

He groped, kissed and bit Louis' ass. "So perfect."

"Can't be that perfect..."

Zayn turned him over gently. "Don't say that, baby. You are."

Louis flipped them so he was on top and pushed Zayn's pants off. "Wanna ride you."

"God, you know how much I love that."

He smirked devilishly. "I know." He leaned down to suck on a pierced nipple

"FUCK! Louis! Want to be in you!" Zayn reached down and started to stroke himself.

Louis smacked his hand away. "My toy!" He growled before grabbing a bottle of lube from their hidden spot under the couch and poured some on Zayn's cock. "How's that, babe?" He smirked. Earlier, he switched it out for warming lube, but didn't tell Zayn.

"Lou! God, babe, hurry up!"

He teasingly rubbed the warming lube all over Zayn's cock and nipples. "So impatient," he tutted, watching as Zayn started to squirm underneath him. He clucked his tongue in disappointment. "Didn't even stretch me out."

"Let me rim you. Please, Lou. Want to so bad."

"Fine, fine. Greedy boy." He knelt on the floor next to Zayn's head, who quickly lapped at Louis' tight pink hole. He was moaning from the warming sensation the lube brought. He knew not to touch himself though. Louis could be quite cruel when it came to sexual punishments.

"Oh god!" Louis whined as his hole fluttered deliciously. "Love your tongue Zayn!" Zayn smirked as he pressed his long tongue into Louis. "Oh fuuuuck!" Zayn's teeth scraped at the puffy rim as he nibbled it lightly. Louis pulled away to finger himself open. "I can't wait anymore!"

"Please Lou, get on me now!"

Louis slowly sank on Zayn's cock, sighing as it filled him. Groaning, Zayn pushed his hips to Louis round ass, unable to wait any longer to be inside him. Louis pinched Zayn's nipples as he clenched around him.

"FUCK!" Zayn screamed, gripping Louis' hip tightly.

"Mmm...remember that time I made you cum from just playing with your nipples?" Louis pulled on them.

"Ugh! Yeah, course I do."

"That was a fun night." He pinched and pulled them harder, not even moving on his cock. "They're just so sensitive."

Zayn let out a throaty moan. He grabbed Louis hips and lifted them so that he was thrusting, feeling even more desperately turned on by the nipple play.

Louis chuckled, clenching tight around him. "Feel good, Zaynie?"

"Fuck! Babe so good!" His hips started thrusting wildly as he moaned at the tight, wet warmth surrounding his throbbing cock.

"You gonna cum?"

"Yeah, fill your tight ass with my cum." Louis pinched his nipples before flicking the piercings. "Gonna cum! So fucking close!" Louis leaned down to suck the sweet spot on his neck, tugging on his nipples the whole time. Zayn came hard in his husband's hole.

Louis tutted, clenching around him. "You didn't even wait for me." He began to bounce on Zayn's slowly softening cock, whining from the over sesitivity. "That's what you get for being selfish."

"No, LouLou. Please baby."

"Please what?" He asked innocently as he clenched tight around him.

"Baby! Lou! It's too much!" He started mumbling incoherently.

Louis smirked as he bounced faster, tugging lightly at the pierced nipples. Zayn was in utter bliss, feeling just a little bit spacey. "Love playing with your body, baby. Love making you feel good."

"Always make me feel good!"

Louis started stroking himself. "Zayyyn...gonna cum..." Zayn reached down, placing his hand on top of Louis', stroking him faster. "Ahh! N-No, you gotta c-cum first!"

"Can't again! That's too much!"

"Z-Zayn, please, I really want a baby!" Louis was trying hard not to cum as he was filled over and over again by Zayn's perfect cock.

"Fine fine please, babe! So fucking good..."

Louis couldn't hold it, coming hard on Zayn's stomach, throwing his head back with a loud moan.

"Ugh!" Zayn came at the sight of the beautiful boy on top of him.

Louis collapsed on top of Zayn, completely exhausted.

"Love you so much. Gonna have such cute babies."

He giggled and yawned, nosing into Zayn's neck. "I hope they have your hair. Now, carry me to bed." Zayn lifted his limp body with ease. Hewrapped his arms around Zayn. "I love you."

"Love you too. So much."

"Love you more."

"That's impossible." Zayn lay him down gently.

"Liar." Louis pulled him down for a lingering kiss. He tugged Louis lips between his own. "Mm, stop, I'll get hard again. I'm too tired for another round."

Zayn laid beside Louis. "Fine, fine. Whatever you say, baby."

"I can't wait for the baby! I hope it's a boy."

"Me too, love. So excited."

"He'll have your hair and my eyes."

"You will be so hot with a baby bump."

Louis grinned, excited beyond comprehension. "Okay, shhh, mummy needs lots of rest for baby."

"Okay, have a nice sleep, mummy." Zayn fluttered kisses over his stomach before kissing his forehead and spooning him.

Louis giggled, rubbing a hand over his stomach, praying that life was growing there already.


	2. And I'll hold you tightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst and smut sorry not sorry

Zayn knocked on bathroom door and pushed it open. "Lou? You've been in here for a while. You okay?"

Louis' lip wobbled. "It's negative again!" He threw the offending pregnancy test against the wall.

"Shhh, it's okay, LouLou. We can try again." He wrapped his arms around the distressed boy.

"It's been five months, Zayn!" Louis pulled away. "What if I can't?"

"Do you want to go to the doctor?"

"I guess I have to. There's no other choice." He sighed and dressed in a jumper and jeans. Zayn put on a more relaxing set of clothes, opting for sweatpants. Once changed, he helped Louis to the car.

Louis swallowed once Zayn started driving. "You know I love you no matter what, right?"

"Of course I do. And I love you too. So much."

"Well...babe, I'm saying that because....you know it might not be me, right?"

"Oh, I didn't think of that...but I love you, always."

"I love you too." Louis grabbed his hand and held it the rest of the ride to the clinic.

"Let's go inside. I hope for only good news, my love."

"Me too." He allowed Zayn to lead him inside. They had to wait a little while since they didn't have an appointment.

"Louis Malik?"

Louis jumped up and followed the nurse, pulling Zayn with him, who was starting to get somewhat nervous.

"Hello! I'm Dr. Watson. I understand you're having difficulty conceiving?"

"Yes, sir. We've been trying and trying, but nothing."

He nodded. "A lot of couples face this problem. Just answer a few questions for me. How old are you, Mr. Malik and...Mr. Malik?"

"Twenty-six."

"I'm twenty-seven." Zayn wrapped an arm around Louis, who was sitting on the doctor bed.

Dr. Watson nodded and wrote on the chart. "Alright, Mr. Louis, I'm gonna draw some blood and give you a cup to urinate in. If you're willing to wait about half an hour, I can get some results to you."

"That's fine." Louis stuck out his arm. He hated needles, but was willing to do anything to ensure pregnancy.

"You can do this, LouLou. I'm right here with you." He kissed all of Louis' skin that he could reach.

Louis leaned into Zayn's comforting hands as the doctor filled two vials with blood before removing the needle and bandaging the spot.

"Now, Mr. Malik, please urinate into this cup. The bathroom is right there."

Louis went and weed in the cup and washed his hands before returning to the room to give it to the doctor.

"Now, if you'll give me half an hour, I can get your results."

Zayn sat on the bed behind Louis. Gently he pulled Louis into his lap and held him tightly trying to stop him from shaking.

"If I can't have kids...I'll just die!"

"No, Louis. I'm here for you. I'm here for you, LouLou. It's okay."

Louis was scared to death of being infertile. He hoped against hope that it wouldn't be true. That half an hour seemed to last a lifetime.

Zayn massaged Louis' tense muscles as they waited. "Soon, Lou. We will know soon."  
"I'm so lucky to have you."

The door opened and the doctor came back in looking very grave. "I'm sorry, Mr. Malik. It would seem you are infertile."

Zayn gasped and hugged Louis as tightly as he could.

As for Louis, he felt like the world had stopped. "Thank you for your help doctor." He stood mechanically and put his jacket on. He walked out of the clinic in the direction of their car. Zayn followed close behind Louis, worried that he hadn't said anything yet, just stood by the passenger door and stared blankly at the car.

Louis stared straight ahead as Zayn drove them home, not even shedding a single tear

Zayn put his hand out to hold Louis'. "It's okay, love."

He didn't respond in any way, his hand remaining limp in Zayn's. He was still in shock that his worst fear had come true. When they finally made it home, Zayn went around the car and carried Louis inside.

"I'm going to make some muffins." Louis really only baked when he was highly stressed about something.

Zayn read the signs of Louis' behavior. "You don't have to, Lou. It's okay, I promise."

Louis went into the kitchen and pulled out a big mixing bowl. He ended up making 12 blueberry muffins, 6 of which he stuffed down his throat without even thinking about it.

Zayn grabbed one of the delicious treats and ate it while it was still warm. 

Louis went into the bathroom. All of the sweetness made him sick and he threw up every bit. Then he sat and finally let himself cry. He locked the door and rinsed his mouth out. He tried to figure out what he was going to do.

"Love, let me in. Please."

Louis didn't answer him. He punched and yanked at the skin on his stomach, angry that it wasn't round and full of a child like it was supposed to be. Why the hell was he even a carrier if he couldn't carry?

"Lou, open the door for me."

"Go away."

"Are you sure, LouLou?"

"I don't know! I don't know anything anymore!"

"C'mon, love, please let me in. I'm here for you."

Louis was aching in a way he knew Zayn wouldn't understand, couldn't understand. "Leave me alone!"

Zayn sighed and plopped down on the couch. He so desperately wanted to hold Louis in his arms and tell him everything will be alright.

Louis stayed in the bathroom for hours, sobbing. He opened the door and went to find Zayn. His hair was a mess, his eyes were big and puffy and his face was swollen. 

Zayn had his nose buried in a book. Nothing was able to take his mind off of Louis for a long time, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

"Make love to me."

Zayn looked up from the book. "Lou, I don't know if that's a good idea right now."

His lip wobbled. "You don't love me anymore!"

"Shhh, LouLou. I love you. I love you so much." He pulled his husband into his lap and kissed his forehead.

Louis tried to pull away. "You don't love me! Why should you?"

"Babe, I love you. I will always love you. Get those thoughts that I don't out of your head, because they aren't true."

"Then why won't you make love to me?!"

"I will if you want me to, baby. I will."

"No, don't. You don't want to."

"I do want to. I want you."

"Make up your mind! Do you want me or not?!"

"I want you, love. I want you so much."

"Then prove it!"

Zayn carried Louis' light body to their room, lying him gently on the bed. He was sniffling and clinging onto Zayn as if he would die if he let go. "I've got you, lovebug."  
"Don't let me go. Please...never let me go. Need you."

"I never will. I love you so much."

Louis pressed desperate kisses to Zayn's lips, Zayn kissing him back with as much passion. Louis pulled his shirt off before starting on Zayn's, who helped Louis by stripping himself. Louis pulled Zayn down on top of him. "Zayn, please..." He wrapped his legs around his husband

"Okay, it's okay, LouLou. I'm here." Zayn reached down to stroke him.

Louis reached into the nightstand to grab the lube. "Need you..." He didn't bother playing with Zayn's nipples like he normally would have.

"C'mon, LouLou. Want to make you happy."

Louis gave him the lube and spread his legs wide. Zayn drizzled some on his fingers and started to stretch Louis. He didn't even whimper, only sniffled a little. He was impatient to have Zayn inside of him

Zayn looked at at Louis after using two and then three fingers. "Are you ready babe?"

Louis nodded. "Need you."

Zayn lined up his cock and slowly started to push in.

"Ahh!" Louis moaned as he was deliciously filled.

"You feel s-so good! Love you so much." Zayn held position so he was completely in.

Louis wrapped his arms around Zayn. "P-Please move. Wanna feel you..." Zayn did as asked, slowly thrusting in and out of him. "Mmm..." Louis reached up to kiss him slowly. Zayn moved his lips in sync with Louis', licking and nibbling the plump pink lips. Louis' cheeks had a soft blush to them. "Z-Zayn..." He grinded onto Louis' hard on. "Ooh..." Louis shuddered at the pleasure. "Love you so much..."

"Love you too, my love." Zayn kissed down Louis' neck.

"Faster, please," Louis begged, clenching around him.

Zayn slammed into Louis, pressing hard on his sweet spot.

"Fuck!" He dug his nails into Zayn's back, who groaned in pleasure. "Love me, love me, please, need you..." Tears slid from Louis' eyes as he pulled himself closer. Zayn kissed away his tears as they made love. His heart raced faster as heat pooled in his stomach. "Gonna cum!"

"Cum, LouLou." Zayn tweaked his nipples.

"Ahh!" Louis bit into Zayn's shoulder as he came on his stomach. Zayn did a few more hard thrusts inro Louis' limp body before cumming with a shout. He pulled out and rolled them over so Louis was laying on his chest. Louis yawned, nuzzling his face in Zayn's chest. "Love you..." he murmured sleepily.

"I love you, too," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis' head.

Louis drifted off in his post coital bliss. The dark-haired man fell asleep whilst holding Louis close, silently swearing to never abandon him in his vulnerable state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you all think? No one commented, so my feelings are a little hurt. Please let us knowif you like it!


	3. Just wish you'd never gone for the man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst angst angst. Also, drinking

Louis was sitting alone on the couch, pretending to watch a movie, but he was really watching Zayn who never spent time with him anymore. Zayn was sitting on the other side of the couch, eyes on his phone. Louis folded his legs under himself, feeling a bit insecure. "Hey, Z, why don't we go out tonight?"

Zayn glanced up at him quickly before looking back at his phone. "Can't."

"Why not? We never spend time together."

"Work," he mumbled, sending out a text.

Louis frowned. "Really? Because I talked to Joe and he said you haven't been in at night at all these past few months."

"That's weird. I haven't seen Joe at work when I'm in at night, so he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Zayn, just stop with the lies."

"Whatever, Lou. You're insane, I've been at work."

"Tell me his name."

"Who's name?"

"The guy you've been fucking."

"What the fuck, Louis? I'm not cheating on you!" Zayn pushed his vibrating phone into his pocket.

Louis crossed his arms. "Then let me see your phone."

"Why? It's none of your business."

"You've never hidden your phone from me before." Zayn rolled his eyes and handed his locked phone over. "You changed the password," Louis frowned when it didn't unlock after he tried the password Zayn always used.

"Whatever, Louis. I'm not staying here while you treat me this way." He quickly packed his stuff and left the house, slamming the door.

Louis' lip wobbled as he gripped Zayn's forgotten phone in his hand. He frowned in confusion when someone labeled "Babe" started calling. "Hello?"

"Hello? Zee, is that you?"

"Who is this?!"

"It's Niall. I'm sorry, did I call the wrong number?"

"No, this is Zayn's phone. How long have you been seeing him?"

"Four months next week. I'm sorry, who is this? I didn't catch it earlier."

"My name is Louis. Are you a carrier?"

Niall let out a choking sound. "Pardon?"

Louis huffed. Some men were embarrassed about it, but Louis wasn't. It was a gift. "You heard me, Niall. Can you conceive?"

"I can, but why does it matter?"

Louis sobbed. "I...I...Is he making you happy?" His voice was strained with tears.

"Well, yeah. Are you alright mate?"

"Not really. Haven't been in a while. Are you fertile? It's just... I'm a carrier, but I'm not."

"Yeah, I am. But I don't understand what you're saying. Wanna meet up for a pint or something?"

"As long as you let me get drunk and bring me home." Louis sniffled. "Where do you wanna go?"

Niall let out a chuckle. "I know this great place. My mate goes there all the time. 'Funky Buddha."

"I know where that is. I'll meet you there in half an hour."

"Sounds great. See ya soon."

"Okay." Louis hung up and ran to get dressed, trying not to think about how crazy it was for him to go meet up with Zayn's boyfriend. He called a cab and got to the club in twenty minutes. Louis approached the bar. He saw an attractive blonde. "Niall?" The blonde looked up at him with wide eyes. "Are you Niall? I hope you are. If not, this is awkward."

A blush fell across his pale, lightly freckled face. "Yeah. I'm Niall."

"Guess Zayn has a thing for blue eyes." Louis sat next to him and downed the beer that Niall had waiting for him.

Niall chuckled softly. "Yeah. So, Louis, can you explain what's going on?"

"I'll have a double scotch on the rocks." Louis turned to Niall. "Yeah, Zayn's my husband."

Niall choked on the beer he was drinking. "Your what?!?"

Louis held up his left hand and smiled sadly. "Five years now. He missed our wedding anniversary. I guess he was with you." He downed the scotch.

"I-I had no idea."

He shook his head. "I don't blame you, Niall."

"I thought he loved me."

"Oh, he does. It's me who's in the doghouse." Louis swallowed the double shot, loving the burn in his throat. It gave him something to focus on.

"That's not fair! He's married to you. He should be treating you better."

"I think when he found out that I'm infertile, he changed his mind about loving me. "

"Mate, I'm so sorry."

Louis shrugged and ordered three shots of Jack while Niall finished his beer and ordered another. "So...does he want children with you?"

"We've been talking about it lately."

Louis would never admit how much that hurt. He nodded once and took all three shots in a row, needing to forget everything.

"Lou, maybe you should slow down a bit."

"Maybe you should check out your boyfriends before you fuck them." He finished them, feeling a little tipsy.

"Mate, I'm sorry, but I didn't know."

The alcohol settled in his blood, getting him drunk. "Yeah, yeah, saint Niall."

"Lou, it's time to go home. Let's go." Niall grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the bar.

Louis pulled away. "Get off of me. You're a husband stealer!"

"Louis. Stop it. You're being ridiculous."

"You don't even fucking know me!"

"It's okay, mate. You don't need to yell. Just calm down."

"Get away from me!" Louis was slurring and stumbling around.

"Lou, please." Niall calmly stepped towards him.

"Fuck you and your ability to have kids! Go live your fucking perfect life!"

"Lou, you wanted me to take you home. It's time to go now."

"I bet you know where I live too, fucking slut!"

Niall shook his head and called a taxi. "I've been there only once before, to visit Zayn."

Louis tried to fight him off. "I need a beer."

"Louis! You're drunk, and you don't need more!"

"Fuck you! You don't know anything!"

"I know that you are in a shitty situation and I am trying to help." Niall dragged him outside. "Now get in the cab."

"Go fuck yourself."

Niall shook his head and pulled Louis into the taxi. His lip wobbled as he started crying. "Shhh, Lou. It's okay."

"I tried, so hard! Why?! Why can't I be good enough?!"

"You're perfect, Lou. He's blind not to see it."

Louis sobbed, loud and ugly. "I want kids just as bad as he does!"

"I know you do. I know."

"Why can't I have them?" Louis cried the rest of the way home.

Niall held Louis in his arms, trying his best to comfort him. He paid the driver and let them into Louis home after patting the brune down to find his keys.

Louis sniffled and collapsed on the couch, wrapping his arms around himself. "Please, Zaynie, please hold me, I need you. You promised you wouldn't leave, Z, please..."

Elsewhere, Zayn sighed when he realized he left his phone with Louis. He decided to call his love anyway, dialing Niall's number from the motel room by heart. He'd really fallen for the blonde lad.

Niall felt his phone ring and looked at the ID. "Lou, I have to take this. I'll be right back." He ran to the bathroom and answered the phone. "What."

"Hello, babe, you okay?"

"What do you want, Zayn?"

Zayn frowned. "Are you alright, love?"

"Why are you asking me? You should be asking your _husband!_ "

"No, babe, we're separated. I don't want him."

"Don't fucking lie to me," the blonde seethed, clenching his jaw.

"Babe, I would never lie to you. I love you so much."

"Really? Then why did he answer your phone? Tell me that. Go on."

"I left my phone there when I went to get the last of my stuff. I swear, baby."

"Stop lying! I'm with him right now!"

"Baby...why are you there? He's going to tell you things that aren't true."

"Because we met up, and we talked, and I'm tired of all of your lies!"

Zayn made a noise of frustration. "I'm not lying to you! I fucking love you! I want you to be Niall Malik! I already have divorce papers ready."

"If you're not married, why do you have divorce papers? You told me you were single!"

"Baby! We're separated! Nialler, please! You're my angel, I can't lose you!"

"Then come to Louis' house and we will talk. Or are you too much of a coward to deal with your husband and boyfriend?"

"No, baby, never! I'll do anything for you. I'm on my way."

Niall hung up the phone without an answer.

Zayn quickly drove to the house and went inside. "You guys should really lock the door this late at night."

Louis sobered up quickly at the sight of him. "Hello, Zayn."

"Louis. Nialler, baby." He reached for the blonde.

Niall flinched back. "Don't touch me."

"Baby...please. What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me the truth."

"The truth is, I am separated from Louis. I don't love him anymore. I've found my forever, and that's you."

Niall crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "If you would do this to him, what would stop you from doing this to me?"

"Niall...you don't understand. He pushed me away. He iced me out, and after months of trying, I gave up. I need someone who completes me. And that's you."

"I love you, Zayn. I really do, but after seeing how much Louis loves you...I don't know what to do."

"I don't love him, Niall," Louis said quietly. "I haven't for a while now. What I said...I was holding on to the past. Zayn deserves to be happy, and if that is with you, I don't mind. You two will have beautiful children."

Niall looked over at him. "Thank you," he whispered, and ran over to Zayn arms wide open. Zayn held Niall close, running his fingers through the blonde locks. He owed Louis for that. He knew Louis still loved him, knew Louis lied for him.

Louis smiled at them sadly, rubbing at his aching heart. He never told Zayn about the nursery he was building in the guest room. He'd hoped Zayn would want to adopt a baby with him, but that looked like it would never happen now.

Niall let out a choked sob into Zayns chest. "I love you."

"I love you so much, baby, so so much. From your head to your toes, you're perfect."

Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn's waist.

"Come on, babe, I'll take you home." He picked Niall up bridal style and carried him to the car. 

Louis waved them off and closed the door. As soon as it was locked, he collapsed in a heap of tears. He stumbled over to his liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of grey goose. He drank until all of his problems felt far away.

Niall held Zayn's hand tightly the entire ride home. Zayn pressed kisses to the back of his hand. "Love you so much, baby."

"I love you, Zaynie, so much." He wiped the tears off of his face.

"I would never lie to you, you understand?"

Niall nodded feebly. "I'm sorry."

"And to make you remember, I'm going to make love to you until you can't stand it."

Once again, Niall could only nod. "I love you so much. Our first time will be special."

"I'm going to make you feel so good." And when they got home, he made love to Niall over and over, until the blonde was exhausted.

"No more, I can't. Let's just cuddle."

Zayn pouted. "Wanted to eat you out again." He shrugged and cuddled up with the blonde. "Love you."

Niall whined at the thought of cumming again. "Too much, baby. But, I love you too."

They fell asleep in each other's arms, both of them content and blissfully unaware of the emotional damage they'd caused Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleeeeeease comment. Pretty pretty please with Zayn's high notes on top?


	4. Now, I don't ever wanna be perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn makes a choice. So does Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW THE SHIZ THAT'S BEEN GOING ON.

Zayn was passed out next to Niall, who rolled over to straddle Zayn and press a kiss to his lips.

"Mm, stop it, LouLou, wanna sleep," the older man murmured tiredly. Niall furrowed his eyebrows and rolled off of him. Zayn kissed him once more before turning over.

"Stop that." Niall got up and stormed out of the room, causing Zayn to wake up fully.

"Niall? What's wrong, babe?"

"Really, Zayn. Are you kidding me?"

"What? What's wrong?"

"You fucking called me 'LouLou!'"

"No, I said NiNi."

"No you didn't! I thought you were over him!"

"Babe, you're blowing this out of proportion!"

"Really, am I really? Tell me how? It's been _months_!"

"It was a mistake, Niall! It's not like we were having sex!"

"Just, I thought you didn't love him anymore." The cute blonde frowned down at his small feet.

Zayn sighed. "Just because I accidentally said his name doesn't mean I love him." He would never tell Niall how he couldn't get Louis out of his head.

"I can read your face, Zayn." Niall's heart felt like it was tearing in two.

Right then, he knew, somehow, he knew that it was over. "I love you. I really do."

"I really love you too, I just don't understand. You're going to have to pick."

"I wanted to propose to you."

"W-what?"

"I was going to propose to you. But...I don't think I can anymore. I'm so sorry."

"Then why would you even tell me?" The smaller boy tugged at his blonde strands in agony. He so badly wanted to be enough for Zayn, but he was still hung up on Louis, that was more than obvious.

"Because I want you to know how much I love you, Niall!"

"You love me, but not enough to marry me? Only enough to tell me? I'm so confused."

"Niall, please. Even if you don't understand. Please, just know that I love you, always."

"A-Are you leaving me?"

"I don't know. I...need to think. Ni... I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too."

Zayn packed a bag as quickly as he could, Niall watching with eyes that held so much sadness, and even more regret. "I'll call you later," Zayn promised, but the blonde knew better. He wasn't going to hear from Zayn again. Still, he nodded and Zayn kissed his forehead before driving off.

~*~

Louis decided to make a kettle of tea while waiting for the carpenter to arrive. Things had gotten better since the lad came into his life. He wasn't drinking nearly as much, and he was getting his self-confidence back. He rolled his eyes at the thought of Zayn. How was he married to him again? He couldn't even keep Louis satisfied, much too busy chasing after younger, more naive, and arguably prettier carriers. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock at the door. He opened it, looking down at his watch. "Hey, Li. You're kind of early, aren't you?" He looked up and frowned. "You're not Liam." He tried to close the door, but Zayn kept it open by blocking it with his foot. 

"Louis, please don't ice me out."

"Get lost, asshole."

"Look, I know I messed up, okay? I messed up so, so badly, and I know that. I know that now. Niall was never the one for me, baby, it was always you."

Louis rolled his eyes. "No, you can't stay here, Zayn. If you're that desperate for a place to stay, why not give your mum a call?"

Zayn sighed. "That's not why I'm here."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize, Lou. Please, just hear me out."

Louis stared at him, blue eyes steely, colder than ice, making Zayn shiver a little. "You're lucky it's freezing outside. You can come in for one cup of tea, not a drop more. Then I want you to leave and never come back."

"Alright, alright. One cup of tea." Zayn stepped inside when Louis moved aside. He sat in the armchair, sipping the hot liquid gratefully. "Thank you so much, babe. This is delicious."

"Don't do that. You wanted to talk, so talk." Louis sat on the couch and crossed his arms with a frown that Zayn wanted so badly to kiss away.

"Louis, you are the love of my life. You always were. Things got hard, and I got distracted, but I don't know how. Just looking at you...you're radiant. You're my light, my life, everything I could ever hope to have in a husband. I love you more than my own life, more than air."

Louis narrowed his eyes. "You think you can just come in here with pretty words and I'll just take you back? Don't forget, you don't love me anymore. You need someone who completes you, and that's Niall. You've found your forever, and that's also Niall."

Zayn was shaking his head before Louis was even done. "No, babe. I've never been more mistaken in my life. Baby, it's you. It's always been you."

"This is a joke. _You're_ a joke. I don't have time for this. I'm waiting for someone."

"I'm someone."

"I mean someone important. Have you quite finished? I would like you to be gone before he gets here."

"But LouLou..."

Another sounded at the door and Louis rolled his eyes at Zayn before opening it. A chiseled Greek god stood there. "Hey, Lou," the beautiful creature rumbled.

"Hey, LiLi. Come in."

Zayn, feeling extremely possessive around this very attractive man, wrapping his arms around Louis.

Louis made a face at Zayn, pulling away from him. He stepped into a tight embrace with Liam, a bright smile on his face.

"How's my boobear?" Liam nuzzled at Louis ear.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Sorry, Lou." His hands traveled down to Louis' bum and squeezed.

Louis squeaked and slapped his hands away with a giggle.

"Excuse me, who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Liam and you're Zayn, and I hate your fucking guts." Liam kept up his happy smile, even as he looked at Zayn.

"Li," Louis had a warning in his voice.

"What?" Zayn cocked his head. "Why don't you back the fuck up?"

"You think you can take me, punk?"

"Whoa, guys, no. Don't do this." Louis got between them.

"I know I can," Zayn growled, stepping back so he didn't to hurt Louis.

Liam gently picked Louis up and placed him on the couch. "You fucking hurt him so bad. When I met him six weeks ago, he was a drunken mess. All that was here was alcohol. Notice how thin he is? He wasn't eating, just drinking his life away. I have been waiting since then to break all 206 bones in your body."

Louis ran in front of Liam, and tried to calm him down. "LiLi, no. You don't want to do this."

"Wow, look at you, so observant. You can't even _fucking_ tell that fighting would hurt him. You're so smart!"

Liam laughed loudly. "Oh please! I didn't say it would be now. And it wouldn't even be a fight, darling."

"Liam, go finish the crib, or I won't make you tea."

He pouted cutely, looking like a little puppy. "But I love your tea!"

"Go on, Liam. Do your job." He antagonized.

Louis glared at Zayn. "You shut up."

Liam ignored Zayn. "Kiss for luck."

Louis blushed and pecked his lips. Liam grabbed him, and pulled him back in, kissing him deeply.

Zayn seethed in jealousy and anger. No one should be kissing Louis except him. "That's pathetic."

Louis hummed as the kiss was broken.

"See you in a bit, sexy." Liam made his way upstairs.

Louis swooned, blushing and grinning.

Zayn looked at Louis fawning over that dumb meathead. "I can kiss better than that."

Louis stared at him blankly. "Can you? That's nice." He wandered into the kitchen to get cookies from the cabinet to set out for Liam.

"Want me to show you, LouLou?"

"Who's LouLou?"

Zayn pouted. "Babyyyyyy."

"I'm not your baby, Zayn. You made it perfectly clear that you prefer Niall."

"I'm sorry, Louis. I truly am."

"Whatever."

"Please forgive me, Lou."

"Stop that! Stop with the pet names, okay?! Stop putting Liam down! He's the only reason I'm not dead right now! And stop trying to get me to forgive you, because I don't!"

Zayn nodded and looked over Louis broken face.

"Fuck, I need a drink." He went over to the liquer cabinet and yanked at the lock. "LIAM! LIAM, DAMMIT!"

"Louis, you don't need alcohol."

Liam came running downstairs, gathering the distressed boy in his arms. "What happened, Lou?"

"Please, Liam, I need something..."

"No you don't, love. You're 18 days clean."

"You don't need it, Lou. I'm gonna go to help you. But listen to Liam, okay. He will make you better. He's good for you."

Louis didn't spare Zayn a glance. "LiLi, please, just one...please, I won't have more than one glass, please..."

"Oh babe..." Liam held Louis close as he started shaking.

Zayn looked at Liam. "Do you want any help, mate?"

"Get him a cup of tea, please." He looked at the trembling man in his arms. "I finished the crib."

Zayn made Louis a perfect cup of tea and handed it to him. "A crib?"

Louis sipped the hot liquid. "I'm hoping to adopt a baby boy."

"That's good, Lou. Do you have any names?"

He shook his head, putting the tea down.

Liam smoothed his hair. "Did you eat today, lovely?"

"I...I um...no."

"Lou, you need to eat something. You can't starve. Let me get you some food." Zayn was desperate to redeem himself.

"Why didn't you eat?"

"Not hungry."

Liam sighed as his phone vibrated, signaling that he had another job. "I don't want to leave you."

"I can watch him, Liam."

"Call me, text me, if you need anything else, babe, okay?"

Louis nodded, his eyes falling shut as Liam kissed him tenderly.

"Will do, thank Li."

Liam looked at Zayn. "I still don't like you." He got up and left, closing the door behind himself. Louis sat on the kitchen floor, wrapping his arms around himself.

"Louis, can you have something small to eat for me?"

Louis shook his head. "Not hungry." He finished his tea and lay on the couch.

"Please, even if it's just some fruit."

"Leave me alone, Zayn. You've hurt me enough. I don't even really want to talk to you, so please stop." Lou felt completely exhausted.

"I'll leave you alone after you eat an orange."

He pulled the afghan up to his ear and curled into a ball.

"Please, Lou. You have to eat something."

Louis ignored him, staring at the wall.

"Do you want me to call Liam?"

He shook his head. "Not hungry."

"Please, Lou. Do it for yourself."

"I hate myself."

"Do it for me."

"I hate you."

"Do it for Liam then!"

Louis hissed. "He stole my liquor."

"You don't need that shit. You're too good for it."

"Quite the opposite. I'm not good enough for anything."

"Love, don't say that. We both know it isn't true."

"Just leave me alone."

"I can't. I love you. I can't leave you again."

"If you leave me alone, you can have the back room for the night."

"Okay, LouLou. That sounds good."

"Stop calling me that. Now leave."

Zayn nodded obediently and went to the room he was assigned to.

Louis fell asleep for the night, his face stained with the silent tears that escaped the eyes he squeezed tightly shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible double update tonight. We'll see.


	5. Maybe I'll put you to the test and say that I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff

In the morning, Zayn woke up and made Louis' favorite breakfast, determined to win him over, and make him healthier at the same time. When everything was finished Zayn went to go get Louis from his spot on the couch, which he knew wasn't comfortable. as if to confirm it, Louis groaned when he woke, his back aching terribly. He tried to stretch out his sore muscles, but found it ineffective.

"My back hurts! Why would I even sleep on this stupid, lumpy couch?"

"Awe, my poor love." Zayn began to lightly massage Louis' back. "Breakfast, and then I will give you a good massage."

"I'm not hungry. I'm going to go take a bath." Louis hauled himself off the couch and groaned again at his pain.

"No, you need to eat. I even made your favorite."

"I don't have a favorite."

"Your old favourite then. Scrambled eggs, waffles, and turkey bacon."

"Leave me alone."

"Baby, come on, don't be like this." He wrapped his arms around Louis from behind, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

"Give me that back massage, and I'll think about it."

"Will do." Zayn smirked and lay him on the bed. He straddled Lou's thighs and dug into his back muscles. He knew how this massage was going to turn out, just like the rest of his massages ended.

"Oh...that's nice..."

"I know just how you like it."

"Mhm...mmmm..." Louis couldn't help but moan at how great his back was feeling, all tension relieved.

"You're so perfect, love. So perfect to me."

"Stop that. Just massage and be glad I didn't keep my aluminum baseball bat." Zayn chuckled and started moving down Louis back, making him moan as he pressed on his most tender spot. Zayn pressed harder, hoping to gain more sexy moans from Louis. "Ahh!" Louis was getting hard. "Mmm..." Zayn moved his hands lower until they were resting on Louis' ass, who hissed "Don't you dare."

Zayn rolled his eyes and started rubbing. "Just relax."

Louis couldn't deny that it felt wonderful. Blushing, he hoped Zayn didn't notice how much thinner his bum was. Unfortunately, Zayn was cupping Louis smaller bum and frowning.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Your arse is smaller."

Louis shifted uncomfortably. "That's what happens when you lose weight."

"But you lost it so fast, it can't be good for you."

Louis huffed impatiently. "Whatever, Zayn. I don't need your judgment. I was too fat anyways."

"You were perfect. You _are_ perfect."

He rolled his eyes. "Enough pretty words. Are you going to finish my massage or not?"

"Sure thing." He returned to his favorite task. Louis hummed as he began to relax again.

"Oh Zayn...Zayn! Right there! Ahh, harder!...Ohh fuuuck..." Louis went completely lax, ignoring his boner. "You're so good at this. Niall is lucky."

"My hands are only for you."

Louis slowly started humping the floor. Zayn noticed and slipped his hand between Louis' cheeks, making him shudder. "Zayn, n-no, you shouldn't be touching m-me....oh fuuuck..." Zayn didn't respond to the comment, keeping his hands where they were. Louis flushed in arousal, moving his hips faster. "Z-Zayn...this isn't right!"

"But look how much your body loves it." Zayns finger pressed on the rim of his tight ass.

He pushed into the touch with another whimper. "St-Stop teasing me!" Zayn pulled down Louis' pants and leaned in to lick the rim, making him shudder. "Z-Zayn...more! Ahh!" Louis propped himself up on his knees so he could stroke himself, burying his face in the carpet. "Fuuuuuck!"

Zayn pulled Louis' hand away from his cock. "This is mine."

"N-No it's not! Damn you, Zayn!" He hated it, but loved it at the same time as Zayn replaced Louis' hand with his own. "Zayn!" Louis was shaking. "Gonna cum!"

"Wanna be in you first."

"W-We can't...Niall...you said you only wanted him..."

"But listen to me now. I want you."

"You're j-just horny. You'll probably leave right after you're done." Louis sniffled. He didn't know if he wanted to cry from frustration or desperation.

"I won't, love. I won't."

"Promise me something."

"What is it, Lou?"

"If I let you fuck me, you'll come back to me. You'll come back home. Promise?" He admitted, it was pretty pathetic, but he missed Zayn way more than he wanted to admit.

"I'll come back home, Lou. I promise."

Louis nodded and got into position to be stretched.

Zayn looked the in lamp stand table for the lube. "Still here right?"

Louis nodded. He couldn't believe Zayn was actually there, with him, after so many months apart. He was there in person, and they were going to have sex.

Zayn buried the first finger deep in Louis ass, the older boy letting out a sigh. "Feels so good..."

"So tight," he mumbled, focused on finding Louis' sweet spot.

"I haven't had anything since the last time with you..."

"Good, you're mine."

"I...Z-Zayn...more!" He pushed back on the finger, nearly screaming when another one was added. "Feels so good, Zaynie..."

"Good, want to make you feel good."

Louis felt so incredible, he couldn't believe it.

"Ready for another finger?"

"Please! Need it!" Louis was pushing back against all three of them, desperate for release. "Please, Zaynie, need you!"

Zayn pulled out his fingers and rubbed the excess lube on his cock. Slowly, he pushed into Louis's tight pink hole. "So fucking tight, Lou..." He stopped when Louis bit his lip in pain. Zayn groaned. "You are doing so well, Lou."

"Z-Zayn...love you so much."

Zayn thrusted hard, hitting Louis' prostate. "Love you too.

"Ahh! More!" He groaned as he could feel Zayn's long length inside him. "Zayn...oh, I missed this so much!"

"Me too, Louis. Missed you so much." Zayn moaned as he continued thrusting into the wet pulsating hole. "Ugh, Lou! So good!"

Louis turned fierce in an instant, pulling away and flipping them over. "You've been a very naughty boy, Zayn."

"Lou, babe! What are you doing?"

His blue eyes were cold. "You don't even deserve to cum after what you did to me."

"Please, Lou. Please, just let me make you feel good."

"Why should I let you do anything?" He reached down and slowly stroked Zayns length. "Who's toy is this?"

"Y-Yours! It's your toy, Lou."

"And you've been giving my toy to someone else, haven't you?"

Zayn nodded shamefully. "All yours now."

Louis pinched both of his pierced nipples at once, making Zayn scream and Louis smirk. "You're such a bitch."

"Louuu." He pouted looked up at him with puppy eyes.

"A cute bitch. But still." He slowly sank onto Zayn's hardness, letting out a sigh when he was filled once again. Louis pleasured himself on Zayn's cock, not giving the man under him any additional attention. Zayn reached behind Louis shoulders and tried to pull him down for a kiss, but Louis slapped his hands away. "You wanna kiss me? You have to earn it."

"Please Lou. Let me kiss you. Missed your lips. Need them!"

"Oh?" Louis clenched around him. "I wonder if you were thinking that while you were kissing that blonde slut?"

"Not a slut. I'm the slut."

"Mhm. I wonder how many other people you let play with my toy."

"No one else, LouLou. Promise."

"Oh no?" He clenched as hard as he could. "How's Perrie these days?" Louis had never told Zayn that he knew about the supposedly secret affair, and smirked as Zayn looked completely dumbfounded, opening and closing his mouth like a gold fish. "You think you're so slick, don't you?"

Zayn closed his eyes and turned his head so he wasn't looking at Louis, blushing in shame. "I...I..."

"Coward." Louis started riding him again, his ass slapping against the top of Zayn's thighs.

"Babe, please."

"What?"

"Please don't tease me!"

"I'm going to get my revenge on you, Zayn. Gonna make you suffer." He bounced faster, panting as he got closer to orgasm.

Zayn moaned like a pornstar. "So good, babe!"

"I'm always good. Too bad you're not." He started stroking himself, biting his lip as his eyes grew black. Zayn groaned and tried to thrust up into him. Louis flicked his pierced nipple. "Bad Zayn! No!"

"B-Babe! Please! Need it, please, baby! Please, let me cum!"

Louis clenched. "You don't cum until after I do!" Zayn nodded and started stroking Louis' cock, the older man throwing his head back as he continued bouncing, clenching around Zayn. "So close..."

"Cum for me. Please baby." Louis breath hitched as he came, splashing on his and Zayn's stomachs. "Ugh, so close. LouLou." His fingers scratched Louis' side.

Louis whined at the slight pain. "Zaynie..." He was worn out now, barely able to stay upright.

"Gonna cum in you."

Louis nodded, all of his sexy fierceness gone. "Please."

In a split second, Zayn's hot cum filled Louis' hole. Louis, happy for it to be over, was pliant and sleepy, curling up on Zayn's chest with a yawn. Zayn hugged Louis close, kissing his hair. He started drifting off, his malnourished body exhausted. Zayn hummed a soft tune, calming Louis, who was soon asleep in his arms.


End file.
